


five times amy realised she liked jake and one time she knew she loved him

by thechickandtheduck



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: F/M, spoilers for all the seasons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-22 13:18:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6080835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thechickandtheduck/pseuds/thechickandtheduck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yes, she did say that maybe she liked him. A little. Which is the truth. But the implications in her confession were clear: that was before. Before when you told me you liked me, not before ten days before, when you made your girlfriend laugh and I wanted to die.</p>
            </blockquote>





	five times amy realised she liked jake and one time she knew she loved him

_ One _

 

She’s not paying attention. She knows Teddy knows she is not paying attention. But he hasn’t said anything yet. He pretends he doesn’t notice her non-committal responses or the way her head is miles away. She understands he is being nice, trying not to call her out after a long day. He is trying to be polite, she knows that. It bothers her anyway.

 

She is being unfair. 

 

“I’m sorry I’m so, you know,  _ not here _ ,” she says with an apologetic smile.

 

“I know. It’s been a long day, don’t worry about it.” He pauses and takes her hand in his, before continuing, “Would you like to talk about it?”

 

Teddy is perfect for her. He is reliable, and honest, and committed to his work. He is everything she always wanted, but still, in the back of her mind, she can’t quite shake off Jake Peralta, standing in front of her in the parking lot and that stupid look on his dumb face, perhaps the most vulnerable she has ever seen him.

 

And her traitorous mind, of course, who keeps pushing Jake when she is thinking about Teddy and the things that make him a great boyfriend.  _ Jake  _ and  _ boyfriend  _ and  _ Amy,  _ words and thoughts that just don’t belong together.

 

“It’s okay,” she answers, “like you said, it’s been a long day. And,” she continues, looking over Teddy in the direction of the kitchen, “I’m super hungry. How’s that coming?” she finishes with a tiny, honest smile.

 

In return, Teddy gives her a huge smile, standing up quickly and going back to the kitchen. Because of course he is making dinner for her. That’s the kind of thing he does. Not because it’s a special occasion or because she asked, just because he wants to.

 

“It’ll be ready in fifteen minutes, Ames,” Teddy announces from the kitchen.

 

And it shouldn’t, but that nickname coming out of Teddy’s mouth suddenly makes Amy feel dizzy and weird and Jake is going undercover for six month,  _ six month _ , with the mafia, and she won’t see him, not for  _ six month _ , and he likes her. He said he liked her, stood in front of her like a highschooler and told her he liked her,  _ romatic stylez _ , and she didn’t say anything. And something could happen to him and she just stood there.

 

Amy stands up abruptly and Teddy notices, quickly approaching her, perhaps seeing the panicked expression in her face. She quickly covers it, or at least she think she does, and looks at Teddy with an apologetic smile, again.

 

“I know I said I was okay, but actually, my head is kinda killing me,” she says, using her calm voice. She knows how suspicious she sounds, though, and this abrupt change in her attitude can’t be lost on Teddy.

 

“Okay, do you wanna lie down before dinner?”, Teddy asks her, left hand already on her back, but barely touching her. His expression shows concern, but he keeps a gentle smile on his face and his tone is firm but kind.

 

“Don’t be mad, but I think I’d rather go home,” she says, with a little smile, and she already knows her face looks weird.

 

“Of course I’m not gonna be mad, Amy. But, are you sure everything is fine?”

 

“Yes, don’t worry, just a headache,” she answers, but she kind of wants to say  _ “No, everything is not fine. And you are perfect for me but somehow I wanna be anywhere but here with you because some dumb guy told me he liked me and now he is gone and my world just exploded and I don’t know why”. _ But she doesn’t.

 

“Okay, let me at least give you a ride home.” And Amy can’t find a way out of that one without letting Teddy know that something’s up, so she lets him and spends the ride home looking out the window. Teddy doesn’t push her.

 

When she does get home, she goes straight to bed, but she can’t shake off that one all-consuming, terrifying thought that appeared somewhere between the time she took the elevator and she made it to her door.

 

_ Teddy doesn’t make me laugh. _

 

Which is a lie. He does make her laugh, she has laughed around him countless of time. But, and this is the part when she truly hates her brain for, and maybe even her heart, but, Teddy doesn’t make her laugh like Jake does.

 

She likes when Jake goes out of her way to make her laugh and maybe she shouldn’t. What this could mean terrifies her and she rather not think about it but she already is thinking about it so she will allow herself one time, just one time to think about it and then she’ll move on.

 

_ Maybe she kinda likes Jake, a little more than friends like each other. But it doesn’t mean is romantic, either. _

 

There. Now it’s out. But she is with Teddy. And she likes Teddy. And Teddy is here. And she wants him to be here, so, really, there’s nothing more to think about.

 

She falls asleep shortly after, and the next morning, when Teddy shows up at her door with coffee and bagels, she hugs him tightly and lets herself be invaded by his warmth. He is solid against her and Amy feels safe. This is what she wants. She’s almost positive.

 

_ Two _

 

There are many reasons why Amy thinks she should break up with Teddy. She hasn’t gotten around to making the actual list yet, but it’s already in her head.

 

Things between them have started to get boring. She likes hanging out with him. She enjoys it. But is different. There’s no spark, no attraction anymore. And yes, his obsession with pilsners is driving her completely insane, but if she were a little more into him, she thinks she would learn to deal with it. But she is not. 

 

Into him, that is.

 

And he is a truly amazing guy, and he doesn’t deserve to be treated poorly, so she needs to cut it off and be fair to him. Because he’s been a really great boyfriend to her and he deserves the truth. And that is the whole truth.

 

So, maybe she is leaving something out. But he doesn’t need to know about that. Nobody needs to know about that. But she is alone in her living room, having just made a reservation to have dinner in a well-lit Korean restaurant, so maybe she will be honest with herself. 

 

What she is leaving out is the  _ Jake thing _ .

 

She’s been referring to it as the  _ Jake thing  _ for a week now. It started when the whole squad was getting a drink at Shaw’s, like they usually did after a long day. In that occasion, Sophia had joined them. Amy liked Sophia; she was smart and fierce, and she liked how confident she looked all the time. Granted, they hadn’t spent that much time together, but it seemed like she made Jake happy, and that was enough for her.

 

And then it happened. Jake was telling a story, and Amy was half- listening, paying more attention to the pool table, where Rosa and Terry were going all in. And Jake grabbed Boyle’s drink, making a show of dropping some of it on himself, because it somehow had to do with the story he was telling. It was just Jake being his usual silly self, but Sophia laughed. Hard. And Jake got that look on his face. He looked proud. Like having vodka all over his shirt was worth it because he had made Sophia laugh.

 

And Amy’s stomach dropped.

 

And she got that feeling, that weird feeling that felt a little like jealousy, but couldn’t be. It shouldn’t be.

 

It was just that that was the kind of things Jake would usually do to get Amy’s attention. But now Jake had a girlfriend. And Amy had a boyfriend. So, how selfish would it be of her to be jealous?

 

Well, now Amy is on her way to being single again. But Jake is happy. And Amy doesn’t think she would want to be with Jake even if he wasn’t with anyone. She is a little bit attracted to him, and maybe she likes to have his attention. It isn’t a big deal. It doesn’t have to mean anything. And, yes, she can also admit that Jake telling her she liked her, _twice_ , had confused her a little. But that was before Sophia, so it doesn’t matter.

 

What matters is Teddy. And she has to be honest with him, he deserves nothing less.

 

_ Three _

 

Okay, maybe the  _ Jake thing _ does matter

 

Amy is alone, in her creepy room, in this creepy bed and breakfast and her whole life has just blown up in her face.

 

She should’ve seen it coming. Teddy is a great detective. And Amy is not a great liar. Of course he had picked up on her weird behaviour. She just didn’t think she had been that obvious.

 

Apparently she had. And now she is sitting in the hotel’s bed and she kinda feels like shit. And embarrassed, definitely very embarrassed. She wants to say that Teddy had kind of pulled a dick move on her, and be mad at him for outing her like that, but, really, she doesn’t feel like she has the moral authority to do so. She wasn’t exactly fair to him the whole time.

 

So, now she is in this stupid bedroom, by herself, and Jake Peralta knows she used to like him. Amy sighs dramatically and stands up, making her way to the bathroom. Maybe this is for the best, because now that she has said it out loud, she can start to move on.

 

Except she hasn’t technically said it out loud.

 

Yes, she did say that _maybe_ she liked him. _A little_. Which is the truth. But the implications in her confession were clear: that was before. _Before when you told me you liked me, not before ten days before, when you made your girlfriend laugh and I wanted to die._

 

And Amy’s day hasn’t been great, so once she makes it to the bathroom, she walks straight to the mirror  and really looks at herself. She does not look good. But she does feel a little lighter. So she looks at her reflexion right in the eyes and whispers: “I like Jake.”

 

Nothing happens after that. “I like Jake,” she says a little louder, still looking at herself in the mirror. 

 

And again nothing happens.

 

And that’s okay. So, she likes a guy who has a girlfriend. And it  _ is _ a big deal, because he is her co-worker, and his friend, and  _ he has a grilfriend _ . So it matters and it sucks a little, a lot, actually.

 

But now it’s out there. At least for her. Jake doesn’t need to know that what she feels is not in the past, but very present, very here. She can deal with this. Now she can start moving on. 

 

Because this thing with Jake is not going to happen. She knows it and she is okay with it.

 

_ Four _

 

Amy makes good on her promise. She moves on.

 

Her relationship with Jake doesn’t get weird. After all, why would it? Jake thinks it’s all in the past, and soon it will be, so Amy makes an effort to not let things get strange between them.

 

Three weeks after breaking up with Teddy, she goes on a date with an accountant named Robert. Her friend Kylie sets them up and at first, she is worried it is too soon. Too soon since she broke up with Teddy and too soon since she was honest about how she felt about Jake. But she accepts anyway. She even has fun. Of course, nothing really comes of it, but she is doing it, moving on, that is, and that is all that matters.

 

Two weeks after that, she agrees to go out with a co-worker of his brother Cisco. He is a teacher and really tall, and he makes her laugh. But at the end of the night, Amy doesn’t think he is really feeling it. They say their goodbyes and Amy almost feels a little disappointed knowing she’ll never seen him again.

 

Jake and Sophia break up four weeks later. Amy has been on two more dates in that time, and although neither of those got her a second date, she feels in a good place. She is genuinely sad when she hears the news. Sophia was good for Jake, she thinks, and she is not looking forward to seeing him sad. But the news don’t wake anything else inside her. And she is certain she’s made it. She’s over it.

 

But, then (because there’s always a  _ but, then  _ when it come to Jake and Amy, it seems), then the Boyle-Linetti wedding happens. 

 

At first, things are good. Jake talks about Jenny Gildernhorn and Amy is not bothered. In fact, she really hopes he gets a chance with her. 

 

But, then (see, there it is again), Amy spends the whole morning with Jake, and they had honestly not worked a case together in what feels like forever, and she feels like maybe they are being a little too friendly, and it almost feels like they are flirting, and that is definitely a step back for her.

 

Maybe she is just reading a little too much into the situation, she knows that’s a possibility. And the fact that they are on a wedding, celebrating love, doesn’t seem to help her case. So, when they are standing on the dance floor, watching Jenny dance with some other guy, Amy tries to defuse the tension before it even starts, and sets up Jake to dance with one of Gina’s oldest aunts.

 

But, then (and this is the most important of them all), something happens. Because Jake is dancing with Gina’s aunt but he is looking at Amy. And Amy is looking at him. And something is happening. Maybe Amy can’t tell exactly what it is, but it is something. And it feels important. And perhaps is the romantic music, or the low light, but Amy knows in that precise moment that she wishes it was her that Jake was holding.

 

After that, things change again. It’s not a conscious decision, but Amy finds herself being a little too friendly with Jake again. Some may call it flirting, but she is not so sure that’s what it is. At least, Amy is not sure what it means to Jake. 

 

That moment, back at the wedding, she was sure Jake felt it too. But this new dynamic (which is not exactly new, but is not something they’ve done in a while) may not even be romantic. It may be all in Amy’s head.

 

So, a few weeks later, after her failed date with Detective Majors (which she did not know was a date, otherwise she would’ve refused), and after Jake teases her about it, not a hint of jealousy in his face, Amy tells her about her rule. A rule she had put on herself, months ago, after her break-up with Teddy, after deciding she was going to leave her feelings for Jake behind.

 

“I don’t date cops,” she says. Because there’s really no cop she wants to date. Except Jake, and that seems like it may not be an option anymore. It hasn’t been an option for a long while, actually. And maybe that’s for the best. This thing between them could get really messy. And she doesn’t ever want to lose Jake. Perhaps the bad timing is a sing and she hasn’t been paying attention.

So, maybe Jake isn’t thinking about her like that now, but if he ever starts again, then that’s okay, because she has a rule, and she’s making the tough decision for the both of them. She is protecting them.

 

Still, she can’t help it. “ _ I really like that boy, _ ” Amy thinks, as she watches him leave and she tucks her hair behind her ears.

 

_ Five _

 

She feels a little like she is having an out of body experience. Because not too long ago Jake told her he had been thinking about asking her out. But Amy has a rule now, and Jake understand and they should keep it professional, he gets it.

 

And the truth is, Amy gets it to. It’s simpler this way. They have bad timing, that is obvious now. And they are friends and they work together and should they risk it all? Is it even worth it? But she can’t think about it because they are on a case, they are working a case and Amy held Jake’s hand fourteen minutes ago and she still feels warm.

 

She listens to Jake’s response about how he knew she was the one with amusement. He’s being as vague as possible and he can’t blame him. She just told him it was better if they kept things professional and he is respecting her wishes. As he always does.

 

But suddenly Amy doesn’t want to be professional anymore, because he always respects her, and he makes an effort to understand her and when he smiles she wants to die and he always always always makes her laugh. She looks at him and there he is, waiting for her to answer what made her realise he was the one but he is not  _ waiting waiting _ . Because he never expects anything from her. And she knows she must sounds crazy, changing her mind all the time. But he does this to her, he makes her want to fight her most natural instinct, her logic and everything she ever thought was true.

 

She wants to give him something real.

 

“He makes me laugh,” she says. And is the most real thing she has ever said.

 

And he looks at her with something, she is not sure what it is, but is something. And he changes his answer, “you know, there's really no one else's opinion who I care about more than hers.”

 

And it fills her with warmth and she wants to touch him so bad. And she likes him. She likes him so much and she has no fucking idea what she should do about it.

 

_ Now _

 

She loves Jake Peralta. 

 

She is in love with Jake Peralta. She loves him. She  _ loves him _ loves him. She loves him romantically. Romantic stylez. She is  _ in _ love. Romantically in love.

 

Her realisation in not exactly a surprise. They have been dating for over six month. And it’s going really well. Solid. She is happy. So, love is nothing but the next step. It’s not a surprise.

 

Jake is lying next to her on her bed, on his stomach and with his face turned towards her. His mouth is slightly open and his right hand is gripping her left forearm. He’s been asleep for a little over an hour. But she isn’t having much luck, because all she can think about is  _ love love love love _ .

 

He really scared her tonight.

 

She is proud of how he dealt with the hostage situation, but she can’t help but feel a little worried about how excited he was at being in a  _ real life Die Hard _ situation. She thought about it while he was with the paramedics, she thought about it on the way home, she thought about it while they climbed up the stairs and she thought about it as she closed the door and got ready to really talk to him about it.

 

But then she looked at him. He looked tired, but excited, and he was looking at her like she was his whole world, ready to share his adventure with her. And yes, there was going to be time to talk about it. But now she wanted to kiss him. So she did. If he was surprised, he didn’t show it. She pushed him against the nearest wall and molded her body against his. She wanted to feel his warmth, wanted to feel him solid against her, real,  _ there _ . And while he struggled to take her shirt off her, with a goofy smile, a smile he always gave her when they were together, the thought first entered her mind.  _ “I love him.” _

 

And then he was kissing her neck, hard, her goofy smile forgotten, and she just needed him inside her, and she couldn’t think at all. 

 

And now she is here, lying awake, because she loves Jake Peralta and part of her wants to wake him up, right now, and tell him. But another part of her is thinking about his surprise when she told him she was glad he was okay, just a few hours ago. Just because she is ready to tell him she loves him doesn’t mean he is ready to hear it. 

 

So, maybe she will wait a little. A few days, or a few weeks, even a few months if she has to. She will wait for him to be ready to hear it, to accept it. To live with it. Because she knows Jake, and she knows how hard it is for him to believe people care about him, and how weird he gets everytime their conversations get even a little bit emotional. So, she can wait. She is in no rush.

 

But, then (but, then, and this comes two month later, and she’s been waiting and waiting and waiting, and she can’t hold it in anymore. Because she loves him. And he makes her so happy and she would do anything for him, anything at all. And she  _ loves loves loves _ him. So, she tells him.

 

“ _ I love you. _ ”

 

And you know what? “ _ I love you, too. _ ”)

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is a little bit messy, but I kind of wanted to get inside Amy’s head, since we don’t get much from her perspective. I hope you enjoy it!


End file.
